TIME TO STOP SAYING SORRY

So I recently read that 31% of British adults think they apologise excessively. I wouldn’t be surprised if I often fall into that category. As parents, we are made to feel guilty about a multitude of things and it often feels like we do nothing but apologise. We say sorry for not being present enough, for working too much, for choosing to stay at home, for breastfeeding, for formula feeding, for allowing our children to spend too much time in front of a screen, for what they eat (or don’t eat). The list is endless!

What if we started focusing on all the good and wonderful things we do instead? It is easy to get bogged down and let the guilt and negativity take over. This doesn’t only happened within your little realm of parenting but in fact everywhere. The news, both in written form and on telly tends to focus on negativity which in turn breeds hatred. Social media is full of it and should you choose to only put out the sweeter side of life you are criticized for ‘selling a lie’ and yes, you guessed it we start apologising for that as well.

TIME TO STOP SAYING SORRY

I’ve seen women apologise for having beautiful skin, nice bodies (even shock horror after having children), gorgeous locks or for having found time to look after themselves. I see mothers apologise for loving their work, for going to school and for loving things that are not ‘labelled’ feminine. We are so scared of how others will judge us, think less of us that we come up with apolegetic excuses even when people hand us a compliment. “You are so creative” or “You are  so clever” “Me? No, I think I was just lucky there”. “You look gorgeous in that top!” “This old thing. I think I got it in the sales.” Sounds familiar? Instead of apologising, it’s time to own your life, your actions and your achievements.

LACK OF SLEEP LEADS TO NEGATIVITY

Another thing is lack of sleep, which I think many parents suffer at one time or another (or simply ALL the time!). It leads to a negative focus. In a study of sleep-deprived students, 81% recalled negative words such as ‘cancer’ after attending a presentation while only 31% remembered the positive ones. This proves that it is even more important to try and keep a positive outlook, support others and be proud of yourself!

Having a positive outlook and focusing on optimism isn’t about saying “oh, remember everything is grand!”. Life can be difficult at times. Optimism, in my book, is about acknowledging that life has its challenges and learning from those.

Do you apologise too much? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments below?

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22 thoughts on “TIME TO STOP SAYING SORRY

  1. I attempt to focus on the positives but sometimes it’s very hard to not apologise if you feel you are in the wrong for something. It’s hard to change habits that’s you were brought up with though.

  2. Accepting compliments is difficult I think, that’s one i struggle with. As for other things, as I’ve got older I tend to care less about what people think and I wouldn’t apologise for anything I do unless I need to or to keep the peace with relatives 😉 Great post x

  3. I always have people telling me off for apologising too much or when I don’t need to apologise. For instance I apologise for others! Haha, I have no idea why though.

    I have been able to cut down on the apologising BUT I know I need to sleep more!
    Maybe nap while B is at nursery haha

  4. I feel like I also apologise a lot. A large part of motherhood, in my opinion is a feeling of guilt. Having agoraphobia, I’m constantly saying sorry for the things I can’t do. It’s awful.

  5. I definitely apologise to often and my children apologise a lot as they’re probably listening to me! I have been trying to work on this and reading this has reaffirmed it to me!

  6. I think we live in a very apologetic society. Even if it’s not saying ‘sorry’ exactly we are very apologetic about things… like you say when it comes to someone complimenting what we are wearing. Instead of saying thanks we say ‘oh… it’s really old and came from a really cheap shop’. It’s hard not to when it’s ingrained! x

  7. I have caught myself apologising for silly things too, e.g. for looking younger than I am. I met an old school friend and she was like ‘don’t you ever age?!’ and my immediate response was to apologise.

  8. This is completely true! It is so deeply ingrained, I can remember my daughter bumping into the door when she was little, and automatically turned and apologised to it! She realised her error, and chuckled at herself, but it goes to highlight just how expected it is of us to apologise for everything these days! It does seem that people have become more divided, though. There are those who apologise profusely, even when it’s not necessary or they are not at fault. Then there are some who it seems do not at all, even when they are blatantly in the wrong. Some even become aggressive if they are called out on it. I think we need to find some balance and recognise our faults when they occur but also to stand up and refuse to apologise for the sake of it!

    Thank you for reminding me of this point. I am a terrible one for feeling guilty for the most obscure or trivial of things, and it is an ongoing battle to remember that I have no need to apologise unless it is genuinely warranted. It’s a tough habit to break!

  9. I am not surprised to hear that such a high percentage of people apologise so much. I find that I can apologise quite a lot because of how society can make us feel!

  10. I totally agree – I think there are certain things that require no apology and we need to be far more confident in ourselves. Fab post x

  11. I actually don’t mind people saying sorry a lot. I often don’t think it’s used enough and I say it often and I like to hear others say it. So yes I apologise a lot but I’m good with that 🙂

    1. I appreciate that point of view. I think if it’s overused it loses it’s meaning though, but I agree that there are definitely things that some people could be better at apologising for, the important things where you have hurt someone or done something seriously wrong.

  12. I do say sorry far too much, I think it is the way we live. When a parent says sorry to me for their child I always smile and say no need to apologise I have been there many times before x

  13. Totally agree with your views on positivity and optimism. Especially when it comes to first world problems. For many of us we could do with remembering that for the majority of the time it ‘could always be worse’.

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