Since entering motherhood close to two and half years ago I’ve felt more at ease. With my body and within myself. Hormones have played havoc with my mood though. From those first months of ecstasy thanks to breastfeeding and its release of oxytocin to borderline psychotic (or at least my other half probably thinks so) when I introduced the pill into the mix and it didn’t work for me.
Though that aside I’ve felt more like me than ever before. I love what I have, I know what I want and I feel I know myself better. I’m learning to say no to things I don’t want and jump in head first at things I would previously have shied away from.
SETTING MY OWN RULES
I still have a lot to learn but the creative freedom that the blog has given me is invigorating. I’ve always wanted to work in a creative setting and I’m hoping that I can continue to build the Scandi Mummy brand and even if I decide to pursue a more traditional role down the line I’ve gained so much experience and learned some fantastic skills that will hopefully serve me well in whatever I do.
So I’ve been thinking about what rules I want to live by. What values are important to me and how I can stay focused on my goals and continue to do what I love, how can I be there for the people I care about without losing myself in the process and thereby continue be happy? Here are my ten commandments in no particular order.
I’d love to hear what you would include on your list?
MY TEN COMMANDMENTS
BALANCE IS THE KEY TO EVERYTHING
I don’t do dieting as I’m a firm believer that a varied diet is much better than depriving yourself. Having a salad for lunch means you can allow yourself a muffin with your tea in the afternoon. The same goes for exercise. If you’ve started the day with a yoga session you can chill out in the evening with a good book or a film without feeling guilty. Balance leads to happiness for me.
DON’T TAKE YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY
I struggle with criticism as I grew up feeling like I had to be the best at everything, be perfect all the time and so I never rebelled as a teenager. This has led to insecurities and if I don’t succeed I can be very hard on myself. I’m trying to get better by listening when others have something to say and not get too defensive. To laugh at myself and most importantly give myself a break is the aim.
BEND THE RULES
As mentioned above I was a ‘good girl’ growing up and so I’ve always followed the rules. Though as a grown up I’ve realised that sometimes you not only have to bend them at times, you also have to set your own. For the sake of your sanity not to mention happiness. Saying no is a big thing for me as I’ve been so used to pleasing everyone around me, even those I didn’t really care for. It’s exhausting and it makes you realised that if someone really loves you, then they will accept that you say stop and no from time to time. They will not hold it against you and it will make your relationship stronger as a result.
Despite being a city girl at heart growing up in Copenhagen and since moving to busy London, I love fresh air. Exercising outside, whether just a brisk walk or pushing Caspian to sleep in the buggy helps clear my head. We love going to nearby Bushy Park and when I visit Denmark I love being by the sea.
CREATIVITY IS IMPORTANT
As I said above creativity is so important to me. I’ve pursued it in various forms. From my teenage years being obsessed with drawing to my university degree focusing on film, PR and marketing going on to being on stage as an actor. I wish I had had the guts to follow my dreams sooner and I certainly wish that I had invested in a proper camera many years ago as taking photos truly fulfils me.
EMBRACE YOUR INNER CHILD
Since becoming a mother I’ve realised how much I’ve missed playing. Trying to look after Caspian while also focusing on my business is hard at times though I’ve learnt to multi-task to the extreme. Though sometimes that doesn’t benefit my work nor my boy. I try to keep it separate more. He’s so good at playing on his own and loves watching children’s programmes like Peppa Pig and Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom, which is great. He also loves it when we play together and build worlds using Duplo and send tiny cars racing down the floorboards. This is fun, it’s freeing and it’s fulfilling if you allow yourself to be completely present with you child.
MONEY, MONEY, MONEY
I won’t lie, I worry about money. Most people probably do, whether they have a lot or a little. I’ve also come to realise that it can’t buy you true happiness and as much I would love us to have more, we are blessed and in a better position than most. Some people find it hard to not compare their life to yours and might not understand why you choose to prioritise differently. I often find that older generations forget what’s it’s like in these early days with young children. You just have to brush it off and focus on what is important to you.
LOVE YOURSELF FIRST
Loving yourself is vital. In the past, I’ve not always shown myself the love and affection I deserve. By not respecting yourself it can be hard for others to do so. Make yourself a priority. You are important. Self-care is important. For me, it comes back to my first point of balance. For years I would push myself and then crash, now I’m learning that doing a little every day is better. Spreading out my workload means I find time to recharge on a daily basis. I thrive on solitude which can be a big ask once you have children, so the little moments I get to myself I cherish.
GIVING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN RECEIVING
I’ve always loved giving as I adore the thrill it brings to see someone else happy. Though saying that I’ve had to learn to respect that others might not always want to receive my gifts as they don’t feel the way I do about special occasions. Donating to a good cause or helping a stranger does make me feel good, too, and I want to do more of this going forward.
From Prosecco to Champagne, I’m not really fussed as long as it’s something sparkly. I’m not a big drinker, but I do enjoy a couple of glasses occasionally and it certainly lifts my spirits. Plus sometimes you just deserve a treat!