The year 2020. Where do we even start? I appreciate that I’ve been quiet on here but if you follow me on social media there’s still been a lot of activity. Like many, I have struggled to keep up with everything. For us, as a family, the past couple of years have had huge ups and downs and it almost seems that 2020 has been a continuation on a much larger and worldly scale.
We experienced some very tough times at the beginning of 2019 with illness in the family. I can’t go into the details as it’s not my story to tell yet it affected us all. It meant that the later stages of my pregnancy with Orsino wasn’t the calm and relaxed affair I had imagined when I first saw those two precious lines appear back in October 2018. Our rainbow baby, 16 months after my miscarriage. Yet, I worked up until the day I gave birth.
Now we all find ourselves in a world of turmoil. Lockdown has put many things in perspective. It has brought a lot of stress but also many positives. I’ve always been a ‘glass half full’ kind of person. I try to focus on the brighter sides of life. This doesn’t mean I can ignore what’s going on worldwide. Yet it does make it easier to overcome on a personal level.
THE POSITIVES FROM LOCKDOWN
Our family life was far from ordinary pre-lockdown. With no immediate family nearby to help with the boys, we’ve had to manage on our own for years. We’ve been blessed with help occasionally and been fortunate enough to travel to Denmark to see friends and family several times a year. However, our day-to-day life wasn’t always easy and I often had to take on a lot. Daddy Long Legs would be gone several nights a week so family dinners were not the norm every evening. This has been one of the things we’ve really enjoyed during lockdown. Preparing food together and eating as a family. I believe the boys have benefitted from this as well. A calmer routine with everyone present.
BONDING WITH MY BIG BOY
Children are resilient. A fact that’s hard to overlook. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t look out for them and protect them as best as you can. Caspian has had a year full of changes even before the pandemic of 2020. In 2019 he witnessed his parents struggle with something out of their control, he welcomed a baby brother and he started school. I cannot tell you how proud I am of him. He took everything in his stride. He was ever the smiley, happy boy with an appetite for life. I did feel that I lost him a little in all of this. Possibly down to him simply growing up but probably more down to the circumstances.
My birthday buddy, my precious boy was in some ways forced to grow up in the space of a few months. I hold my hands up and say that I spoiled him. It was my coping mechanism. There was a lot to get through. I also missed him. When I returned from hospital with Orsino he suddenly seemed so big. Compared to the new baby he wasn’t my little boy anymore and part of me grieved that.
HOMESCHOOLING OR JUST EXPLORING LIFE
During lockdown, we were suddenly given a chance to explore our love and renew our bond. He’s been a fantastic big brother from the first moment he met Orsino. He even brought him his brand new Mighty Pups characters when he arrived with Daddy to pick us up from hospital after the birth. He’s caring and kind and looks out for his baby brother. Even more so, he deserved my attention. My undivided attention, which can be hard to give in a hectic everyday setting with a newborn and work.
We had to tackle homeschooling and I must admit we took a pretty laid back approach. Considering children in Scandinavian don’t start school until age 7 I wasn’t scared he would fall behind. We focused on learning through doing; from being creative indoors to planting and growing outdoors. Staying active, enjoying the weather and having fun became the focus of the past many weeks.
Something wonderful happened. I got my boy back. We connected, just the two of us in the moments where Orsino was with Daddy or napping. It felt like such a magical thing to come out of such a difficult situation. Not every day has been easy but every day has shown us something beautiful. However the situation is, come September I feel we have formed a bond that now can’t be broken.
MY PERSONAL GOALS
So far 2020 hasn’t gone the way anyone imagined. For me personally, I’ve powered through but I feel that now it’s time to reflect. I want to focus more on my photography and think about what scandimummy.com can offer you as readers. I’d love to hear in the comments what you want more of? For anyone self-employed, it’s a balancing act between work and creativity but I always strive to merge the two in whatever I do and stay true to who I am.
WE SUPPORT BLACK LIVES MATTER
In our home, we support Black Lives Matter. I have recently realised that I personally have a lot to learn. I’ve been doing a lot of learning and listening over the past few weeks and appreciate that I have a voice I can use. On here and on social media. I appreciate it’s a lot to take in but I urge everyone to try. We need to see change.
How has 2020 been for you?
