So since officially returning to work about a month ago things have been busy. As a family we’ve had to find a new routine and luckily it has gone relatively smoothly. I posted recently about the differences between British and Scandinavian work life, which you can find here, and as much as I don’t want to swap my freelance lifestyle it does come at a cost. Daddy Long Legs has been brilliant in caring for Caspian and it’s been amazing to see the bond between them grow even stronger as they spend more time together. I’ve loved hearing about their mini-adventures out and about. I, of course, have had to get use to days without Caspian. Not easy, but luckily most of them have been so full on that my mind has been preoccupied and so it’s been bearable. It’s easy to take time for granted when you think you have plenty of it.
I was reminded of this in another context a couple of nights ago. Feeling a cold coming on I decided to let chores be chores and treat myself to a film in bed. Daddy Long Legs was out so after Caspian had fallen asleep I made myself a cup of tea and settled in with a British rom com, my favourite guilty pleasure. It was the relatively new About Time that’s recently been added to Netflix and stars Rachel McAdams and Bill Nighy, both of whom I adore as actors.
And it didn’t disappoint as an easy watch, though it has a few moments where I felt it got a bit drawn out and repetitive. But I loved the message of the film. Without giving away too much of the story it basically boils down to enjoying the little things in life, finding the beauty in the everyday, that happiness is not about money and making the most of the time you have with the people closest to you.
In August when Caspian started weaning and therefore cut back on feeds with me I felt low. It took me a while to realise that my hormones were to blame. I therefore didn’t take the opportunity to fully enjoy my last month of maternity leave the way I would have liked. Worries about finding work, money, a nursery place for Caspian in the new year and a mild health scare all got in the way and I felt bogged down. Luckily I have great friends who have gone through similar experiences and who offered their support and I feel a lot better now. I don’t regret not making the most of those precious days now, but instead have decided to take full advantage and enjoy things ahead. Returning to work and seeing that I still have a few functioning brain cells left and can still perform, gave me a much needed confidence boost.
I’ve always put a lot of pressure on myself to be everything to everyone else, and often neglected my own needs in the process. There is of course one person I’ll happily put before anything else, but besides that it is time to focus on my own goals. In regards to my health, the blog and career in general. I know I have Daddy Long Leg’s support and that means so much. When I see the joy Caspian finds in the everyday; the squeal of delight when our cat walks by, the intensity with which an ordinary object is studied, the smile that lights up his face when he tries a new flavour and likes it (surprisingly, that seems to be most things, thankfully), all of this is so inspirational and something we as adult can learn a lot from.
Enjoying a bite of apple this morning
This morning Caspian and I spent an hour doing nothing in his nursery. It felt good. We simply enjoyed each other’s company. Him while munching on a piece of apple and me sipping a hot mocha. There was a lot of smiles and laughs shared. Over nothing. Over everything. Over love. Over us. He’s developed so much in recent weeks – he now has a 5th tooth, he sits up and can crawl (though in a somewhat zombie like style), and he’s started doing something that absolutely melts my heart. He reaches out for me. I know that sounds logical, but when he’s in his crib and I bend down to pick him up or he’s playing on the floor, when he sees my arms he now stretches out his in return and is no longer just carried but cuddles up on my hip. It’s wonderful and I now make a conscious effort to enjoy these amazing and special little moments.
What are your favourite ordinary moments?