We are almost 8 weeks into being a family of four and so far it’s been a pretty smooth journey. The birth wasn’t what I had expected and quite different to the waterbirth I had with Caspian. Yet Orsino is such a calm and happy baby he is making this life with a newborn so joyful. Who knew some babies sleep in 3-hour stretches? Caspian was every hour on the hour at this stage so sleep deprivation was very real then. Now we haven’t had the easiest year for reasons I can’t discuss so it feels very welcomed that something is going right. I’m also wondering if I’m calmer and more confident as a mum this time around?

FEELING MORE RELAXED SECOND TIME AROUND

I think it’s completely normal to be nervous and perhaps on edge when you have your first baby. It’s all new and you have no idea if you are doing it right. Luckily instinct is a fantastic thing and most of the time we are. Caspian was overall a very smiley baby who would rarely cry. He fed well. Sleeping was his downfall. Whether this was down to him being a big baby that needed a lot of food or he is simply a light sleeper by nature I don’t know. Maybe I wasn’t as calm and it rubbed off on his. He’s a lot better now but didn’t start sleeping through until 4 and still only go 10ish hours.

Orsino has been sleeping well from day one. He, too, is a big baby weighing 4.5kg to Caspian’s 4.6kg at birth and has been gaining steadily since. I had to get used to this at first but soon appreciated getting more sleep. Now I suspect that I’m not fretting over little things in the same way I did with Caspian. To a certain extent, I guess babies feed off our behaviour and Orsino senses my calm so he relaxes as well.

WILL WE HAVE MORE CHILDREN?

If money and time were plenty I’d love more children. I do adore this time when they are little. Watching them develop and getting to grasp with the world. Their first smile. The way their tiny hand wraps tightly around your finger. However, I want to give Caspian and Orsino the best life possible and so I feel it would be unfair to wish for more children simple for my own sake. Caspian has taken to life as a big brother in such an amazing and positive way. He adores his new role and is very helpful all around. I hope to spend more one-on-one time with him when Orsino is a little older. I think he would love another brother or sister but as things stand it’s not on the cards.

Experiencing a miscarriage at 12 weeks just over two years ago I know how blessed and lucky we are to have welcomed our beautiful rainbow baby. For this reason, I’m enjoying every moment with Orsino even more. I often think of the baby we lost. I guess with all things in life you learn and try and do better. Becoming a more confident mum is something I feel I owe all three. I still make mistakes and I’m sure life with two energetic boys will have its challenges. I’m ready for that though and excited for the journey ahead.